Okay, now I received this email today for about millionth time today and thought to myself, how is it people can be so gullible? It’s not that they are just gullible, it’s that they are gullible repeatedly. It’s normally the same people who send these emails to me all the time and it makes me wonder. This email in perticular gets me everytime I receive it. So, just for shits and giggles, I felt like breaking down this email for y’all.

This was on the 9:00 o’clock news the other night so I’m assuming it works

It starts with a statement that it was on the 9:00 news the other night. Where I come from, news is typically at 6 and 11. While there are news channels, it seems odd that a network would have news at 9 smack dab in the middle of prime time when they could actually make money for their network with advertising.

THIS TOOK TWO PAGES OF THE TUESDAY USA TODAY – IT IS FOR REAL

Then in uppercase letters, proclaims it had a 2 page article in USA Today. When was it there? WELL ANYTHING TYPED IN UPPERCASE MUST BE TRUE, WHY ELSE WOULD YOU USE ALL UPPERCASE LETTERS?

To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages, But this is from my good friend Pearlas Sandborn and she really is an attorney.If she says that this will work – It will work. After all, What have you got to lose? SORRY EVERYBODY.. JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!! I’m an attorney, And I know the law. This thing is for real. Rest assured AOL and Microsoft will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one filed by PepsiCo against General Electric not too long ago.

The usual, I don’t normally do this, but I consulted my attourney friend Pearlas Sandborn and she says it will work. Who the fuck is Pearlas Sandborn? Do we care? Well according to Pearlos, she knows the law, so we should take her word for it. AOL and Microsoft will follow through with their promises because of some lawsuit between Pepsi and General Electric. First of all, AOL and Microsoft aren’t even partners of any sort. Second of all, there never was a lawsuit between Pepsi and GE.

Dear Friends; Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates sharing his fortune. If you ignore this, You will repent later. Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.

Next comes a personal letter, telling you that Bill Gates is sharing his fortune. Why exactly would this cause me to repent? AOL is an internet service provider, but Microsoft is a software manufacturer(known for making shitty operating systems and office software), and while they do offer internet services it’s not what they are known universally for. Internet Explorer is the most widely used browser, but why exactly would you use IE for email? You can get web based mail, but that doesn’t seem to be what this email is about. If Microsoft was sending around emails, you would figure they would want people to use the virus doggy door known as Outlook Express for mail, given that’s their mail client. Second of all, AOL has their own browser to use(with built in mail client), so how would teaming with AOL assure that IE remains the most used browser?

When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it ( If you are a Microsoft Windows user) For a two weeks time period.

Email is supposed to be private between senders, so having a 3rd party company like Microsoft tracking where you send your mail seems like an invasion of your privacy. Plus the whole concept is impossible using todays technologies.

For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, You will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check.

$245.00? Isn’t that a rather arbitrary amount to pay you? Seems odd to me.

I thought this was a scam myself, But two weeks after receiving this e-mail and forwarding it on. Microsoft contacted me for my address and within days, I receive a check for
$24,800.00. You need to respond before the beta testing is over. If anyone can affoard this, Bill Gates is the man.

Now the claims from someone that they were actually payed this money. Seems unlikely.

It’s all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many people as possible. You are bound to get at least $10,000.00. We’re not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little something for our time. My brother’s girlfriend got in on this a few months ago. When i went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game. She showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped Paid in full

Lets apply some logic here. Bill Gates didn’t become rich by being stupid. If you have lots of money, you know how to protect it, and if you give it away, you know how to get the most personal benefit from giving it away. Now a guy like Bill Gates wouldn’t just give his money away without getting some tax deductable benefits. Last time I checked donating money to any fucktard with an email address isn’t tax deductable.

Like i said before, I know the law, and this is for real.

Again, we are assured of Pearlas Sandborn’s knowledge of law by her stating that she knows the law and that this is for real.

Microsoft and AOL are now discussing a merger which would make them the largest Internet company and in an effort make sure that AOL remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.

AOL already merged with Time Warner. Microsoft just a couple weeks ago spun into 3 different divisions and has had enough problems with the US government over being a monopoly that I highly doubt they would even think of merging with another company

When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it( if you are a Microsoft Windows user)for a two week time period.

Try it; What have you got to lose?

Braincells, time, hair, sanity, viginity

So next time you feel like sending an email like this, think about it. It’s not that you’re taking some leap of faith, it’s more that you’re commiting intellectual suicide(assuming you had an intellect to start with). It proves that you are a gullible moron and broadcasts this fact to your entire address book. It’s not like an email like this is even close to plausible. When was the last time you exerted minimal effort and received a massive reward for your efforts? It just doesn’t happen in life.

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