The building I live in seems to be in a constant flux since I’ve moved in. As with most buildings there are always people coming and going. Now me being inherently a hermit at heart, I rarely engage people in my building with anything more then the odd pleasant exchange or all purpose nod. So given my limited knowledge about my neighbours, I bring you my random observations of the people in my building.

The Weird Squirrelly Guy – He lives in one of the batchelor apartments downstairs(formerly my original apartment). I don’t know what this guys deal is and no one else I know can make heads or tails of him either. I think he’s slow or mentally handicapped to some degree and dresses like a Value Village VIP member. He walks everywhere, so I see him around town all the time. My building is beside a subsidized housing complex and this guy hangs out with all the kids from that building. He’s probably like 28 years old too, so it comes off as very creepy. The building next door seems to be where many of the towns crumbums like to hang out.

Truck Guy – He’s a single guy who lives in the other batchelor downstairs. He’s very rarely around and keeps really weird hours. I used to think he might be gay, but he has some girlfriend from Saskatchewan who goes to McMaster(facts gleened from a licence plate and some bumper stickers), so I guess that theory is out. Other then that he’s pretty much a mystery to me.

The Shut-Ins – Rounding out the bottom floor is an old couple who never leave their apartment. They sit in there and smoke all the time, as I can acertain from the nicotine stained door and aroma of cancer sticks that wafts out their window when I walk by. I’ve only ever seen the husband twice in my year and a half living in the building. He’s deaf, so sometimes I’ll hear the TV just cranked up so he can hear it. I used to see the wife out and about as she used to have this ancient 1980-something Ford Fiesta. From the stickers I believe it was from Florida, so it didn’t hold up too hell to the salt assault that is Ontario roads. It started an Exxon/Valdez style oil leak one day in the parking lot and hasn’t been seen since. This couple are the types I would think someone will discover a smell coming from the apartment and find they’ve been dead for 2 months. It’s kinda creepy.

Old Guy and wife (maybe?) – He’s about 65-ish and retired. This is the guy in the building you don’t want to cross. Park in his parking spot and he’ll track you down and give you an earful. When I lived in the apartment below him I was having some people over and was listening to some music beforehand when I get a knock at the door. It was the old guy telling me to turn down the music. First of all, it was 7:30pm on a Saturday, secondly it wasn’t that loud at the time and thirdly I was listening to Don’t Dream It’s Over by Crowded House at the time, which was laughably sad. Nobody had even shown up yet. Stories aside, I have no idea what this guys name is, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know mine, as I’m referred to as “buddy” whenever we cross paths, a relationship I’m perfectly cool with. Corina and I have never been able to decide whether he is in fact married or has a girlfriend or mistress. The woman in his life seems to make sporadic appearances, so who knows?

The Active Retiree – Her name is Pat, probably about 65 and from what I would guess a widower. She’s another that you don’t want to mess with her parking spot. She has 2 spots, one for her Dodge Minivan and one for her camper van. She likes to go camping according to rumour. I’ve always had this vision of her taking her camper van up to the seniors trailer park and hooking up some love connections. She also has this Nosey Nelly quality about her, even though she’s not that nosy from what I can tell.

The Mother/Son duo – These people moved in a couple of months ago. Just from my guess the mother probably just got divorced and downsized the living arrangements. The son is in his early 20′s and it really strikes me as odd that he’s living with his Mom. He’s got his own truck and from the looks of it does shift work, as he seems to keep some really weird hours. He has some Audi-driving, rich kid friend who always shows up listening to Eminem and often parks in my parking spot, which tends to irritate me on many levels.

The Young Couple – They moved in back in the spring. I believe their names are Lindsey and Richard. I don’t think they’re married or anything. He keeps a weird skull thing and some birch bark and duct tape contraption on the balcony for the world to see. I’ve walked by their apartment when the door was open and saw a couple of purple pilates balls in the living room, which onto itself seemed a little kinky.

The New People – They moved in just this week and kinda inspired me to write this post. The new couple, as far as I can tell, both sport bleach blonde hair and are 40-something and I would guess married. Now the guys hair is past his shoulders and pulled into a ponytail. This is pretty excellent. I didn’t see the top of his head to rule out whether he had a mullet, but a guy can dream can’t he? Other then that I have very little reconnaisance on them up to this point. Update! – I have found out that I seem to have mis-labelled the guy. The guy who now lives in this apartment is one of the well known people around town. Now why is he well known? Well it’s because he looks like mother f-in Santa Clause and goes by the nickname Bear, to which most people in town would know him by. As for the the bleach blonde guy with the ponytail, who knows? Maybe I misidentified him, or maybe, just maybe he may still be out in the wild. Keep your eyes peeled!

[[tt:neighbours]]